When someone becomes your happy thought.

It's almost like a relief.. Because damn I haven't had a Had a Happy thought in a long ass time.. 

I miss happy thoughts... 

You never want reality to mess up the fucking Fantasy part of thinking of someone.. 

Some people ruin the Fantasy by telling the other person that they aren't any good.. But the Fact of the Matter is... 

We don't give a flying shit what was said.. We could see that a person isn't any good, and still try to play the failure game.. 

Happy thoughts are crushes.. 

Damnit.. I haven't had a crush on someone in years.. and I know that a crush isn't the reality of a situation.. It's a mental Cat and mouse game.. once reality sets in the DREAM is DEAD.. 

So many of our relationships fail because of the loss of REALITY.

It's unrealistic to force my own beliefs on someone else who has their own.. 

Truth is truth.. 

We all enter relationships with our own expectations of what we want.. 

Our expectations are simply rules, and regulations that anyone can live by.. 

Honesty, understanding and to be open minded that someone has an opinion of their own.. 

If you make a mistake, own up to it.. otherwise you're just wasting valuable time fighting for a right that simply isn't. 

Wake up.

Nobody's perfect, with that in mind don't expect perfection out of anyone.. 

It's our flaws that make us who we are in life.. 

So if you act as if you know it all.. having failed relationships in the past.. 

The past is experience, experience is your knowledge.. 

If you haven't accepted yourself as part of the mistake then you have to go back and check yourself.. 

Meditate on it..  
Because if you never took the time to look at yourself, then you will never have the understanding of what you need to work on.

Problems with guys Inviting themselves over to MY HOME.

It all starts with a phone conversation, worse it happened to me without a  phone conversation. 

Now directing this conversation to the guy that I had only known for three days..

He decides to show up on his own without a response to a intruding text.. 

This fool thought he was too pretty.. 

He happens to be red boned with pretty hair.. 

Your hair isn't so pretty that you can completely take over the situation...

I mean common sense straight out of the question, Who would just show up at a persons house.. 

The test read, "Hey What's up Girl whatchu doin?" "I'm on my way"

"I'm downstairs open the door."

All by your damn self, no response needed from me whatsoever.. 

I'm thinking really? Go home! Who do you think you are?

What idea did he rely on to show up without a response, and still be welcomed?

I'm surprised? What did you think would happen? 

Wow! Just when you think there aren't people this dumb in life that exist in the World.. 

So he apologizes like it meant anything.. Apologies can't save anyone in this situation... In this situation you are now dealing with a child.. and when you're dealing with a child you completely ignore everything that comes after this situation.. 

To even have a ego that big is a damn shame! I'm thinking that he's thinking to himself.. 

This has never worked before why do I keep doing the same stupid thing over, and over.. 

Hmm I wonder what learning is? I wonder what thinking means.. I wonder why I got so drunk that I can't control myself.. Maybe I should stop drinking... Hmm but I love that more than life itself. .. 

Attraction and courting takes the gravitational pull of two people not one person, with one idea in mind. 

Now, this other guy attempted to tell me that he was going to come up to my apartment.. by um basically telling me that he was.. "I'm coming up" I'm like no.. You're not coming up.. 

"No I'm coming up" Me being me.. I broke it down in more than one dimension. 

Look man, You are staying downstairs, and you are not coming up.. If you need something from me, I will bring it down.. ok? I'm like wtf is your problem? You think that you're older than me you can tell me that you're coming up to my apartment? You are a complete Moran.. 11/18 18 is 9 and that would make my Life path number the strongest on this day.. It also means endings.. 

The end of fools for me? I really need to work harder to get rid of these fools.. 

You never know what someone's true Intentions are with so much obscurity.

Here I am with a 57 year old man that I just met.

So basically we were talking and having a great conversation, He's basically doing all of the talking.. and I'm doing all of the listening... I'm fully aware that the guy is trying to be closer to me somehow.. 

But you know, we're just talking right? Right.. but at the end of the night.. I'm cornered, and asked hey can I get a kiss.. I'm like.. Why would you even put me into a position like this huh?

You know that I'm young.. So you're gonna make me tell you no?

What gave you the idea that I was even attracted to you in the first place? Because I listened to you.. It's hard for me to see you in a honest light when you're asking to cross into my space by the end of the night.. 

I don't even have any intentions on doing a damn thing with you .. Did you even ask if I was interested in anything with you no! You made a decision off of your own selfish feelings.. and you didn't care about mine at all!!

Hey she might feel uncomfortable because I'm an old man!! How about that for taking a second perspective.. 

I'm tired of dumbasses of all ages.

The Real Universe.. Can be read through Emotions..

The Sixth Sense Emotions.

Unfortunately We ignore this sense, and it's blocked by logic. Logic interferes with this power.. 

I'm always wondering why I can feel people staring.. Everyone can.. But what's being directed to you but an eye.. and what's behind an eye but a soul.. Which is the unseen territory..

We don't even dare to wonder what we are truly made of.. 

Why we were given emotions in the first place, and what powers are truly conceived. 

With fear running the majority of the population how we we ever have a genuine connection with each other.. 

The ignorance is driving us all mad, because no one has a true understanding of what they are truly here for, but to go to school, and get a job everything else.. is a Mystery.. 

Since we are all individuals, and cannot share our experiences.. Thoughts are all we have to give one another.. We all have a divine purpose.. To Find that  connection between the unseen world, and our world.. 

What is the unseen world, our dreams? That is the only world we all can connect with to crossover to, and return from.. that is a place.. We cannot share this place together.. But we all know that there is a place, and it does exist.. 

.. 

Fear not.... Do not bow down religious beliefs, unproven, and Skeptical..

We are living in

world where we can only hope for a God to actually exist..

God is the Creator they say... But what if there was only Matter, light, and percentages of Gravity? Gravity can't be seen.. But it is in the Atmosphere among st other elements.. and Planes that we will never see in the conscious world.. 

So what NOW? This is my favorite question! So to Whom do we Pray to?

Whats PRayer? But an idea.. How do you Pray? By Asking? Although we close our eyes, and say a few words.. What did it actually do? Make you feel better.. but the situation you're in remains.. 

So what's Prayer?

 Is useless in this world.. We are all individuals who gravitate to each other, and work hard to make the world a better place... but they didn't sit around and pray for it to happen... The acted upon it.. 

Christians, Muslims... What is the difference?

They both follow a book with no passageway teaching all of us to integrate.. The 

Christian Religion is the White mans religion, is a White man as God.. 

Muslims Created am unseen force.. gave him a name.. and he is a he.. as its written.. Separate the Men, and the Women, that' is the Law of the Mosque..

Why? So the men wont get distracted by the Women.. Who are masters of revelation..

Women and Children together... While the Men pray without the Children.. 

Religion was Invented to tamed the minds of the Weary, also to gain power, and brain wash the masses.. S'p!!! Stop acting like you believe in Jesus.. There is more to this World than to worship a man who's Fabled stories that have been manipulated, an edited.. for Centries.. Keeping us lost.. Keeping us Afraid.. Religion brings people together.. but it can't BRING US ALL TOGETHER!

Everything in ancient tongue, or originally written in one foreign language limiting our interpretaion again written by MAN! Look around!! This is the kind of world where you can create religions...
Like everything else that holds power..in this world its all about Money and power..

There will never be proof of a Astral plane.. They can only be EXPERIENCED.

I woke up in a place where I felt the ground beneath me.. But  was not on earth..

The Question we must alhal ask is this.. Where are we, in our bodies? Hmmm Can't measure that place.. Its in a tiny dimension, timeless, magnetic

 energy... One more thing.. It can also travel..

But where? 

Its a little scary to think that there is an unseen world around us.. filled with all sorts of spirits, and entities.. Traveling in rays of light.

You may experience a dimension that is the exact replica o this one where you wake up and life life.. But it will only let you travel but so far in to the atmosphere beore you have to return to your body..

This lets me know that when our bodies die, our Soul can finally rest.. be free without the responsibilities of living in a perishable body.

What powers do we have on Earth.. Knowledge.. We take with us our Memories of this planet on to the nest plane.. Living among st the living in a subliminal Di mention.. That can only be seen by unconscious beings.. 

It would be foolish  to believe that this b

The Beginning of my life Cycle Number Theory. Numerology VS Astrology

The world is full of secrets... What are our numbers here to calculate?

Why was numerology created to prove? My Birthday is 1161981 My name is Bilqiys Salome Greene.. 2938971 113645 795555 My first name was Atheemah 128551418, So what do these numbers mean?

So, at first I Gathered up all of my own numbers... 7 which is my Birthday, adding my Birthday Left to right was a 9.. as the lowest common denominator.

Which brought me back to a 16 again.. and still I question.. Why??

Most of my life I didn't know my Fathers Birthday, or wouldnt dare to ask what it was.. 

But why know everyone's Birthday? Why would this be so important to me anyway?

The date you were born is the foundation of you life path.

Which means that you can use these numbers to guide you through life.. This date reveals First, what Parent your Soul is connected to, and it also compares you to 

soul companions thoughout life.. 

By knowing your Family Members by dates, you can reveal personality traits, and compare them to each other.. 

People use Astrology as an attempt to predict personality traits, moreover generalizing them to a name in the Zodiac... For example, I would be a Capricorn.. But for someone who's not familiar with Astrology, being called a Capricorn would be irrelevant.. 

So from there, Who are we really?

So many books have been written about Astrology, and there are some for Numerology.. 

But they both fail to help you seek out where you really came from, or narrow the information down to a concise detailed illustration of where our energy is headed.. How we are all connected through time using a number pattern.. What number Pattern? Start with your Birth date..

Your Birth Month, Your Birthday, and your Birthyear have to be compatible with your life Partner in some shape or form. But, why is this important? Why even compare your Birthdate to another in your past? Because the gravitational pull of a number is a natural reality in itself..

and because time only flows forwards the only math that is needed is "Addition"

So what are Fractions for? What was Algebra invented to do? Multiplication, Division etc? To strengthen your Brain to help you remember formulas..

They were invented to speed up your memory for future formulas..

 

Real Love vs a Facade

Look your lover dead in the eyes.. What do you see? Because the eyes are the mirror to the soul. If there is love can it be spoken about?

If there are feelings there, are you aware of them?
So many people are having relationships with people that they love, but they themselves aren't showing the love and attention that shoud be given.

The lines blur between lover and friend, and the relationship dwindles eventually because the conversation either never happens.. Or seems to be too much for the receiver..

In every relationship there is give or take.. If one person is giving love, and the other person is just receiving... There is going to be a line drawn... ,

Ex's who call you acting like they forgot why you Broke up with them..

I'm like Uhhh.. Wassup? Now What the hell do you want.. Leftovers?

This is them:" Oh yeah, wassup?"  Long Pause..
Me: "What's up? Didn't you call me man?"
This fool is answerin the phone like we were already having a conversation... SMH
Dude: "Yeah I was tryna see wassup with you''
See by this time my frustration done got the best of me with the Dumb shit.. 
Me: " Man what do you WANT man?!"
Dude: Sounding Bored, drained, prolonging his response.. "Yeah,....... So....... You cuttin today?''

CLICK... 

Who the hell? WTF? HUH? Who are you? Did you get Dumber since we separated?
You got to be bored whicho SELF! Go take your Boring ass to bed somewhere, kill yourself.. 
That's my line.. and I'm sticking to it.. 

x

Men Who Isolate just to DOMINATE!

These guys I really HATE.. Hate is a strong word.. but I use this one word for a cowardly Lion ass nigga, who wants to corner his Prey all by himself.. So that he can dive in for the KILL..

Go Kill yourself, because I'm tired of being that Woman.. That niggas make the mistake of being either passive Aggressive, or just plain gotdamn aggressive.. 

I'm not  16 hun, That's my Birthdate..Dont get it mixed up Son... Cause you can get the fuck out like Martin Lawrence.. Wishin I could  lift you up and throw your ignorant ass out like JAZZ off of Fresh Prince..

Niggas.... Niggas who show off in front of their Boys, like they tryina win them niggas over for a gay ass date..

Don't fake now, Isolate one of them niggas.. and Dominate that..

If you're drunk everytime you see me.. You don't need me for the party.

The Drunk look ain't sexy.. Neither is the high look if you're high all the damn time.. 

First of all, I think it's classless to show up drunk on the first date, second date, and the third date.. That just lets me know that you're not confident enough to handle me sober.. 

Now if you're smelling like Shitty WEED... You know LOUD.. That smells like Loud Shit!

Not only will your breath be unbelievably horrid.. You wanna cover that up with some fruity gum like that's a cover up.. 

How DARE YOU! How dare you show up smelling like shit cakes, and Bananas.. 

Please hun, You could be the finest nigga in D.C. but your Breath would have you smellin like you look like a Garbage Disposal Drain opening.. 

I don't have the patience for the bullshit.. 

Why you gotta come over here with that? Stay your Foul ass home.. Fingers smelling foul, Clothes Smellin foul.. Who wants to be close to you?

Now Liquor has a distinctive Smell that you can sort of cover up.. But if your cologne is smelling like an ADD ON.. I'm bouncing down the Street like Basketballs from little kiddies.. I'm all in the street bout to get ran the fuck over to get back in the house from you.. PEACE!

x

OK I'm venting my feelings about my WHACK clients.

IF you're coming to someone's house to get a cut, why would you show up empty handed.. 

See everything is cool until I bust my ass cutting a challenging cut, and you tell me that you'll get me next time?

I'm about to be like them chinese people, I'm not even going to start on a shape up until I know that I'm getting my dough, because niggas act like they can IOU everybody..

It's even worse when niggas think that I'm nice enough to allow them to come though at 11pm for a cut... with only five dollars in their pocket... As a appointment.. 

Straight up like..

Aye Billi.. I only got 5 you got me? I get paid on Tuesday.. 

I'm like.. Ok can I ask you to wash my clothes, and I got you Friday nigga?

Where they do that at? I'm not your fucking cousin.. and even he'll charge your sorry ass.. 

Here's where I got heated..

If I have been cutting your hair for two years, and I been Chargin your ass 20.. I'm not going to accept 10 as a surprise payment.. and a My BAD.. that's all I got as a excuse.....

OOh Wee.. I can't wait.. Til I get those fools back in my chair... So I can surprise them with the dust off cape snatch INVOICE!

Muther Fucker!  Straight cut no neck fade no Shape up.. Go out like that.. 

The Nastiest Grimiest people are the most successful.

I think that I'm going to learn a lot about this REALITY.

This truth right here has me thinking about everything that this Society was built from..

I've witnessed crooks getting away, and the Judge would be the biggest crook himself.. 

Be aware that this is the kind of world where the power of manipulation rules.

A world where anyone can create a religion, moreover a wealthy following to build fortresses to backup their claim.

Having power over everyone who falls at the mercy of their own man made governed organized belief system. This is why religion isn't spoken of in the Public School System. 

In Addition where young black children get their education..Which in my opinion should be a whole new structured environment. 

Back to the Religion.

What religion has the strongest following? Who has the most power?

What religion is the most feared?

Should religion be feared?

In this world, in order to gain a following of believers, you have to instill fear into the minds of the  masses. 

What other power than the power of the imagination?

In this world we have phobias of the real, and the imagined. 

If the same stories have been written, and rewritten by man.. 

Repeat MAN.. Man who creates War, Man who is created with a mind full of masterful imagination. Men who invented society as it is today.. 

Why are so many following these Fables? For fear of the unknown, Because in this society where slaves were once hung.. anything they say goes.. 

Religions separate, and divide.. and if one were invented to integrate our Society.. Best Believe they'll 

expire before even a breath about it is uttered.. 

The same with free energy.. 

Freedom? 

In a world where the nastiest of men run everything.. Ask yourself where the HEAVEN AND HELL lay?

This city is full of loving beautiful Men all over, but they're never running anything.. because, they're not heartless enough to destroy someone to get to the top.. 

That's how the World works, the city is run by crooks.. Because they have all the power, nothing can be said or done.. We can only watch as the drama unfolds.. 

We are coming into a new year where the Criminals are being protected by the same crooks who run the City.. 

 

NEw Music written by me.

https://soundcloud.com/bhighladay/say-it-to-my-face

With a friend like that, you wouldn't want to cross him.

Ever had a friend that turned on you when you got into trouble?

 You thought that you had a friend, then they turned..

and you know what you did? You forgave them, in other words you gave them another chance to cross you again. 

You acted as a loyal companion making the mistake of thinking that 

they made a mistake.

Now you're at risk, consequently putting yourself in the arms of an enemy. 

Keeping your enemy closer, and like I said earlier.. That is the dumbest 

Quote ever invented.. 

Whats up with guy calling me up telling me that they have Blue Balls?

What happened to class is it extinct?

I'm starting to think that all the classy niggas are locked up, and we're all left with the anything ass niggas.. 

Anything goes.. Anything flows.. 

No thoughts necessary because caring is for the birds now.. Not giving a fuck is now the trend.. I'm falling right in it because I'm not giving a shit about these blue ball niggahs!

Okay so what the hell am I supposed to say to that? Oh let me take off my clothes because was so SEXY.. REALLY THO? I see why you gets NONE! 

My frustration never ends because it doesn't matter what age the Blue ball line is universally USED! 

I wonder if thats what happend to niggas that have failed so many times that they just throw it away because they're just too dumb to commit to having an ounce of class.. You know who you are..

Shall you remail nameless? 

I mean damn .. it's a fucking shame.. 

How dare you? Really? and this response just makes you laugh cause you're so damn ignorant you can't even figure out that you created a deal breaking moment.. 

No class.. I will never take you home to meet my Grandma,, matter of fact you might as well stop calling me.. 

Depending on me.. Depending on the phone to be picked up.. Beause nobody wants no loser grown ass man child with no vocabulary.. 

worst if you Graduated from College, and you Still on the Block with a Bachelors Degree.. 

Talking bout.. I ain't that nigga I got a degree.. 

I feel like talking to him the way he talks to his baby mamma.. 

like BITCH you ain't nobody but a nigga knowledgable DEBT that you will never pay off. 

x

What Dummy wrote Keep your Enemies Closer? Hell away frum ME!

If you ask me these are the worst friends to end.

I'm saying this because they're always using subliminal messages to get their 

point across moreover have their way with you. 

In the beginning of this mentally abusive relationship you start to have a bad feeling

but you just don't know what it is because you're spending the majority of the time trying to figure out why this person is always badgering you about the slightest petty thing. 

It would probably take a huge argument for you to even catch a glimpse of what type of relationship you two are engaging in.

All you have to do is be who you are and nothing more, especially when you knew that you where right about a wrong doing..

See what I can't stand about this personality type, is the fact they they think you're dumber than a box a rocks.. You're not dumber than a box of rocks, you just so happened to treat other people the way you would like to be treated.

Its amazing how close your enemy always ends up..

No matter how hard you try to get around it, your enemies are always going to be the closest to you.

I hate that saying keep your friends close but your enemies closer.. 

Black people can sure fuck up a quote.. 

You should be saying, "Keeping certain friends too close is like having a enemy closer" Or

Your enemies are closer than you think.

See, I really can't stand a fool that would hang with you and your Mother Father Grandmother.. Like their Family, and when they're isolated with you, pop off with some smart mouth, You better do this,, type of Bully Tactic.. 

These are the people who are never missed.. These people get shot.. and cremated because nobody gave a shit about their fake ass.. 

RIP.. 

I'm not trying to be bitter or cold, but there are way too many in Washington, D.C.

I'm talking about the natural born HATER.. The one who always has something to say about everything.. yet they're not even successful enough to tell a damn success story.. 

They already know this, theres no need to explain to them.. They're gonna act dumb about their mishaps notwithstanding the verbal punishment that they absolutely love.. 

Haters love hate like its happiness to them.. They bask in the hot Sun of Hatred.. Evil Just Deserts.. 

and verbally beating them down is just as satisfying.. but they always have to will .. The loudest talking fastest, talking.. Bull shittinest nigga on the block.. 

There is nothing worst than being around someone who has something to say about EVERYONE. EVERYONE.. 

Don't think that you're special, you should be worried about being next, because
Gossipers get a high off of talking about .. Guess what? 
The people that see their fake asses everyday. 
Male fake asses, and female fake asses.. 
They're like twins.. Theiir Voices carry the same femnine effect..
 Dudes get alot of that pretty fruit from their gossiping as Mommas.. 
IT's a Learned habit honey people are coming out of the Womb talking bout.. OMG.. Did you see that Dr. and how he looked at her, you know damn well he's Murraged.. 
and I spelled that shit wrong on Purpose, because Murraged.. is a fake ass Marriage.. 
Like when rude black female niggaz say SKEWME instead of excuse me... Because it HURTS them so
to be polite..and squeeze out a drop of manners. Little Bitches..

Keep your enemies Closer.. ..Wow that is the most ignorant uneducationalized, nigga shit right there.. 

There are alot of them out there.. but this one takes the cake at being the dumbest nonsensical shit I have ever LEARNED.. Yeh Learned that dumb shit.. In the hood you learn how to be dumb before you get some education on how to be Smarter.. 

and it's hopeless if you're in a neighborhood full of dumb niggas Fathering each other with no Fathers..

Yo you gotta remember where Black comedy originated from.. From Cold Cruel Awful with the mouth Hood niggas.. 

Clowning on you effortlessly, having the entire block laugh at them one pair of pants.. in so many avenues of Clownman ship that you can only wear em in the house.. better not step out with them ol yellow Jeans.

The happier the color the worst you get it. Blue and black onlies.. 

The onliest colors you can get away with

There is nothing more uncomfortable than feeling uncomfortable around your own people.. 

For fear of making an enemy.. We're so damn hostile that whenever white people bump into us they don't even say excuse me.. They Say "OH IM SOOOOO SORRYYY!!! Like please don't make a nigga scene.. 

I have somewhere to be, and I don't need no nigga drama... 

Like Oh Please to pop a gasket.. don't blow up like a half a stick of dynomite.. 

Because blacks have the loudest mouths in the WORLD!

You'd be on the fourth floor, and still hear somebodye loud mouth kids like they're in your gotdamn front room.. 

You know how that makes me feel?

It makes me feel like I'm on a slave plantation.. 

Full of broke ass free slaves.. 

That sit around like they do in those photos that you see of slaves in rags.. with a RACK of nappy kids.. Flocking together.. and nobody cares.. You know why?

Ain't nobody gonna take home no loud mouthed nosey, grown mouthed.. 7 year old.. They gon be like.. 

Awee damn you too damn smart mouthed.. Put that little brown nigga right back where he found him..

I had to let this be known because it's the damn truth, and you can't get no realer than that.

The delicate foundation of a relationship. ( The Beginning)

Honesty is the Beginning of every relationship. 

I would like to start this relationship of with a current situation. .

It's July, a friend of mine decides that he wants to sell me a computer. He takes a picture of it and sends it to my cell phone. I'm excited to see a picture of  it.. to my surprise the Laptop was sitting on the floor almost shut.. 

Of course I ask him, "Uhh Stacy why is it almost shut? 

Seemingly already prepared to answer the question, he talks over-top of me.. Like sales folk do. 

" I'ts just a little dusty on the inside and I have to wipe it off.. 

I'm like "Ok?" I have no choice but to accept whatever.. He continues on telling me that he barely used it and that it's in good shape it's just slow, moreover that he'll bring it to me tomorrow. 

I'm like Cool, so the next day he tells me that the computer has all the buttons.. at the same time covering them slightly.. 

I saw the majority, he finds a way to keep the computer away from me be telling me that we an get to it later.. but at the same time he's still asking me for the dough.. telling me that he'll buy it back from me.. I'm like cool.. 

I quickly do the transaction.. 

Spent the entire day with the guy.. had 

Dinner and everything, Meanwhile the computer is at rest.. 

I never got to open the computer til the Following day, when I discovered that a key was missing and the number two wouldn't' lay flat.. 

Now, I make sure I take pics of it.. and then it dawned on me that he already knew about this.. 

So why couldn't he have been honest about something so simple?

Honesty in the Beginning.

Now we have a problem that's bigger than a petty button missing, or anything else with the computer..
We have a con artist, as a friend.

Now, I say this because in the beginning there was the photo that was off.. Hiding the parts of the computer that was missing.. Then the discovery that there was something missing.. (Remember that we are Adults not OLD people.) Even a child is honest enough to say that something was missing..

Now lies the truth, which makes a Liar Angry.

There's nothing like having to defend yourself because of a

lie that you've exposed.

Nobody likes to get their card pulled, and I've been pulling cards 

all my life.. 

Once you've discovered a horrible truth about someone, you might as

well think back at all the other slick mishaps that happened before..

When someone has no love for you, they show it. 

FOR EXAMPLE: 

Earlier in the day he had agreed on  joining me for

a wine tasting.Faking....because when I finally walked up to the wine tasting

with my ID,

he was nowhere to be found! I looked in a come

It never dawned on me that he never

even thought about letting me know that he was leaving..my presence..

furthermore, I found myself talking to myself.. 

 

Moment to moment we walked together,

 and whenever I would try a sample

 he would suddenly disappear. 

He rejected the wine tasting, 

which blew me a little, however I had a great time

ANYWAY!

 I didn't bring enough cash, and I was nervous

because I had to use my DEBIT . I barely use it because the balance 

is never what I expect!

The Cashier looked at me, and then he looked at him, 

 he stood there until I gave him a look..like ...uh really?

Um in order for his heart to start beating, feeling some

type of emotion..

 Suddenly he came out the pockets with 11 dollars, 

with a follow up comment, you got me at the house.. 

He wanted to pretend like he didn't have it because I looked at him twice...

Prompting that I'd get him back at the house,

 where he later ate dinner, in addition polishing off a 

whole bottle of wine to himself.

I'm too nice.. 

Now with this one days work, I've seen enough to convince me.

 I've gathered enough information to come to the 
Final Decision.. This relationship is definitely OVER...

The moral to this story is, when someone truly ares about you

they wouldn't let you out of their sight. 

Especially in the beginning of a relationship. 

They wouldn't make you feel worthless.. by abandoning you.

Pay attention to the foundation of a relationship, the very beginning of everything.. As a result, you reveal what that PERSON, is truly made of.

Overlooking your emotions,

 Your EMOTIONS, the blind mans map to reality.. 

Ignoring these chemical reactions will certainly leave you with mixed up.

My emotions are my only warning.. I must never go against them.. Whenever I do?

I will surely lead myself in a never ending pitfall of hopelessness.

My happiness gives me hope that I am being loved..

 Hopelessness is the absence of being cared for. 

We will touch on the Subject of "Emotions" after this.. 

Dealing with Liars who LIE about taking the test for HIV.

The very first question that should be asked before sex is:

When was the last time you took the HIV test?

If the answer is UHHhhhmm what did you say?

Be prepared for the BIGGEST LIE..

Dumb Dumbs... They always want to have unprotected sex with you without questions. 

Like have you ever had an STD? Have you been tested? DO you have a STD?

Can we go get tested together before you give me a disease that I'll have to live the rest of my life with? Worst Kill me?

Why should I trust anything else that you have to offer me, if you're lying about ever taking a test that my life depends on.. 

How to Successfully Break up with someone.. in ANY RELATIONSHIP..

Well well Well, Someone you once thought was awesome is now an IDIOT..

It's called FRONTIN. 

 When I say Break up  I mean Separate, departure, never to return again.. 

You have to First: 

Write down everything that pissed you off.

Second: 

Illustrate accordingly.

Third:

If the person wants to over talk you hang up, and say nothing else.. 

Not even in TEXT.. Because there's going to be an argument... 

and a argument is a fight... This relationship isn't worth it because you're tired of them anyway.. and why waste your energy any longer.. You've already wasted time.. So instead of entering into a filibuster of an argument.. Have nothing else to say... EASY.. 

THE END..

Users, and Losers... Who show up to my House with no money.

First of all.. 

What type of disrespectful bullshit is that, when someone thinks it's okay to come to your house, joke with you throughout the hair cut, and then BOOM!! Uh I have to go to the ATM?!!

 

Who is the Sucker? Me or them?

This is the Type of Client who never refers me to anyone.. and has the flyest haircut in the club.. and knows everyone.. 

 OKAY OKAY.... I'm going to put myself in the other person's shoes.. 

I'm so into getting free shit that I not only receive a  FREE haircut.. I don't even have the audacity to even tip two dollars for neck strips..REALLY??

This has me thinking.. You can't come back to my house.. 

You made me make an appointment for your hair, and a slot for your very own hour... to leave me empty handed after slaving over your nappy tresses.. WOW!

 That's enough..

Emotional Intelligence

Without Emotional Intelligence a Relationship can't exist. 

There is nothing more frustrating than making several attempts at establishing a relationship, and if even more difficult to establish a friendship there is no future in it.. and Sex is a distraction. 

Sex is like playing basketball together when it comes to dealing with 

someone who lacks emotions..I use to be this person, I was Emotionally unavailable,,,

That's what a good friend had told me right before he completely cut me off. 

Which is something he should have done instead of wasting his time.. 

I recently encountered a issue with Mr. no name, he seemed happy but never really was.. He was a workaholic, and his attitude toward life is a constant challenge emotionally. He's going to eventually break down and start crying from all of his emotions take over him like a storm. 

I'm sure its very frustrating living with lack of emotions, and it effects everyone around him.. 

matter of fact he's so ignorant he doesn't even know what he's doing.. 

I was actually falling for this guy, and it's been a long ass time.. 

He turned out to be anti social, and analyzed me constantly looking for flaws.. 

But he's not perfect, and it doesn't matter because he already revealed to me what kind of a guy he is.. One day he's going to wake up and look for his feeling like he lost his marbles.. 

LIARS

Types of Liars. 

Withholding...Need I say more.

 Liars that conceal information are the worst kind to deal with, because the truth is hidden altogether. You have to be a detective even use your imagination 

to figure out what isn't spoken of.

 It could be a sob story about every situation, and none of the information given to you tells you what THEY have DONE to cause the situation to spiral out of control. 

Be ware of the "Woe is ME!! Guy who only sees fault in others,

 and never really speaks of their 

own failures or faults. 

Your only warning is the vacuum he brings sucking all of the energy out of your life. 

You will be exhausted, and won't even know why?

That should be enough to move on from the type of liar that will destroy your life mirroring his. 

The Story Teller

The Once  upon a time guy..

The What had happened WAAAAS.. Guy..

You can ask him a simple question about something he clearly lied about, 

but since he forgot about original story plot, he has to make up a story that might divert you away from the truth. The hardest thing to tolerate

is their side of the story, which may feel like a verbal punishment. 

Because their story may have so many twists and turns, you won't 

have the energy or the patience to listen to it.. 

Liars tell a alternative story tale. So if you recreate the story there's always a flaw, and 

low and behold a domino effect of flaws are revealed. 

A story is always a red flag because it takes up too much

 time, wasting energy, with never enough proof to succeed.

When Story tellers run out of story, they use you as a diversion. Bringing up 

resolved issues into an unresolved realm, moreover creating a bigger issue.

Rather than solving the task at hand, he drops a bomb that blows the house up.

The Liar who tells the truth on himself.

            I think that this guy is the most interesting of all Liars.

Because he insults you with his own truth. 

This daunts me in such a way, because he doesn't even hear

his own words. So accustomed to lying that he reveals himself in every statement. 

          This specific type tries to use vulnerable information that you

share with him against you as ammunition. 

A manipulation technique used to divert the attention off of him 

on to you. In order for this to work, he has to dig deep inside to 

see what would hurt you enough to distract you 

from him. 

The Truth Liar tells so many lies that they manifest. 

His insults are a reflection of how he sees himself. 

Truth Liars are the kind that Anger from the accusation, and they belittle, and argue

endlessly.. Aiming to get their power back from the trust that was lost after being caught in 

the lie that he created. When angered, a mans thought is scrambled and the words come out effortlessly. 

This is the absolute truth about his own self in detail.. and if you listen consciously, you will learn all that you need to know about his self image, or self esteem..
Calling you all of the names that he is. 

He is the Psychological Narcissist. 

First Impression

When meeting someone new, we get a first impression. 

First impressions are everything.

When a guy over steps his boundaries by being aggressive, and over confident, he fails to realize that what he's doing is damaging to his Character.. 

Example: Inappropriate touching.. Uninvited invasion of personal space.. 

When this happens to me, I think about what type of a guy I'm dealing with.. 

Because if hes taking without asking in the beginning.. He will continue to take without asking.. 

Deny any wrong doing, an continue to overstep those boundaries.. 

It's an intimidation tactic, to see whether or not you are going to allow physical  contact without permission. Usually in the beginning. Because in the beginning, you're allowed him into your atmosphere.. and that alone gave him the freedom to take control.

If you're dealing with a Man, he would be conscious of boundaries, being thoughtful, and careful not to cross them

Light Life Science Realization

I'm always willing to learn about something that I realized.. 

I probably posted something similar to this but I can't preach it enough..

Religion, is mind control, anything that instills fear without a conscious understanding of what to believe should be dangerous to follow. 

What religion gives you power through the proof?

What religion tells you what you are actually made of, and where you are going to end up?

Its real, 

What is Consciousness?

A living light consisting of an intelligent energy life forms, consisting of  Bio-energy, and infinite time. 

Inside your Body do you feel that in reality,

 where your consciousness lives there is no element of time?

I really want everyone to understand what I'm talking about.. 

Einstien, made up a theory measuring light, through velocity, times mass.. What he was really looking for is an answer we should all be asking.. and we deserve to have the answer.. 

not a story about Moses, and splitting the red sea.. 

We don't need stories, we need facts.. Einstein was trying to figure out what we were made of.

We travel forward in time, and never backwards, and with time constantly moving in a forward motion, where is it going? With everything around us working through our nervous System.. and we're living oblivious to the powers we possess.. blinded by material possessions.. What are we made of, really.. Where do we go with what we are.. 

First of all School doesn't teach you about what you truly are, because it would take a touch of spirituality.. Why do you think religion isn't accepted in School? Why? because it separates, and segregates.. 

Why would you accept and believe something that's not even in a High School curriculum?

There are alot of things that should be taught in school. Once being the fact that religion was invented for mind control.

Religion was invented to keep the sane sane, Give hope to the hopeless, and to give imagination.. to the unimaginative species.. 

There are way too many stories, that drown you with threats if you don't believe it.. 

You can't munipulate something without a imminent threat. Fear triggers good behavior, because if everyone knew the truth about consciousness you wouldn't need the brainwash material.. Heaven & Hell..

Both experiences that can be experienced in this world, whether or not you earned it or not.. 

From my life experience, you can be born into punishment, living in what the majority of the masses would agree to be the worst human body to be in.. 

So what's hell? Hell is a word that I can use to scorn someone.. 

Heaven?  When I think of these places, I think of a make believe.. Hell, all make believe.. and everything that they show about both places have only been seen on Earth.. So again with the imagination. 

We are simply the imagination of ourselves.. 

I don't want your to get this statement confused with, imagining our body's in solid form.. 

That's ridiculous.. 

What I mean is, imagination is a natural part of our consciousness.. 

Without imagination, we would lose our sanity.. 

That's why there are so many religions taking over.. I'm lost with this because, people run away from Science, because they fear it's too complicated, or the words are too big.. 

Without the understanding that, there aren't any other words to describe what it is, it just is.. 

Just like learning another lamguage.. 

But this is in plain English.. 

Is it possible that you could be the aliens? What if we were the ones searching for another soul to inter, after death? We already have an understanding through our imagination that Ghosts come from Humans.. 

So what is a Ghost, a Soul, What is a Soul, a living light life form.. and being a light life form, must mean that we can exist within dimensions that we cannot explain, prove, see, or even talk about.. 

The Afterlife, the afterlife cannot be spoken of, because it is not a place for the living, but existing.. Existing only of the light, and energy where we began.. Like a start we are a living light energy form. Our intelligence grows and blooms, by maturation. Once our Consciousness reaches a certain level of Maturity, signals are sent to the body to shut down in coming of age.. What lives life lives energy.. We are the combination, of energy, light, and time... Yes time.. 

That's why Einstien was working so hard.. To know what you are made of, and to measure that, takes tons of imagination.. Tons.. 

You have to create the pieces to the puzzle that makes you.. and then you realize that everyone is the same light consciousness... Before you know it, you've realized..That the whole time you were wasting thoughts on Religion, common sense kicked in, and gave you a better undertanding with life..and a healthier relationship with yourself.. A realistic relationship with yourself.. 

Because you are the most important thing.. 

There are two of you in one body, at least you won't know it.. 

How many light conscious life forms can fit in one vessel? We will never know.. 

So there could be billions.. 

What is our subconscious? I feel like that's my automatic button.. that I have to turn off from time to time.. 

this gives me room to expand my harizons in terms of imaginative theories.. 

Not like a story, but reasurrance.. that we are not alone.... We, meanung individually are not truly alone in this world.. Because you have one mind consiousness, and there's no one else in there guiding you through life, talking to you but you.. in that lonely world, that you think is the ultimate doom. 

Where we're going is far greater.. just because we can't see where it is doesn't mean that it's not there.. 

We're just not there.. We go somewhere.. We're not supposed to remember where we came from in another body, we've graduated this place.. If you knew that you were existing in absolute freedom, without the heaviness of being in a body, a body that's bound to earth, a body that you have to obey.. 

Filled with fears, and tons of nerves, and emotions that you can't even explain.. 

Feeling free from worry, and the daily struggle.. 

What I think will happen is this.. 

We leave all of our thoughts, and memories.. of life behind.. 

Because they only mean something here on Earth no where else.. 

What is Consciousness without thought?

What is thought without consciousness?

To be Conscious is to be awakened.. a on button that won't shut off.. 

Not even in your sleep.. 

A thought cannot exist without Consciousness.. but consciousness only exists here,, Where does the living body of light consciousness travel to, and how fast does it travel? 

We travel faster than the speed of thought, and produce electricity that travels faster than the speed of light.. 

Can you measure, the combination of Electric energy, to a speed of time, and compare it to the speed of light? 

A lightening bolt through time.. so I'm thinking with our number patterns in numerology, that combination of light energy, and the numbering that follow you thoughtlife, actually tell you how far ahead of time you will jump to.. but since you're energy.. you don't know what form you're going to wake up as.. but you'll accept it because that's all your consciousness will know.. 

When we are born our thoughts, don't manifest... It's like being born on an Alien planet over, and over again.. You're looking at everything for the first time ever in that vessel, memory isn't necessary, because it's not a necessity.. Survival is.. 

and by the time your photographic memory kicks in, and you start interacting with the world.. how you arrived isn't even a question.. or where you truly came from.. before you were thought of.. .. 

None of that knowlege is avainlable, and you were just as lost as you were the day you were born, as a teenager.. You wonder why teenagers are depressed, and taking their own lifes, and the lives of others, their belief system, is flawed.. There isn't enough information out here, there's no one who wants to listen to you as a human being with a common sense type of approach to human life.,.. A gifted child could probably explain the theory in a philosophy that average adults can't even begin to explain, because their childlike imagination is completely stripped, I was meant to be a Barber to work for myslelf, to experience downfalls, pain and unbelievable suffering.. 

in this life there is suffering to no end.. and at the same time death comes in a flash,, anything could kill us too much of anything can.. 

No wonder why half of us won't even go outside.. with the news parading death, and distruction.. making you wish death on yourself so you won't have to experience it.. What happened to miricle stories of something about out Human experience prevailing.. at a higher consciousness.. a revelation of our existence, that has been hidden from us by us for generations and generations.. 

Living with a Family of liars cheaters, manipulating, greedy power hungry, lunatic, losers.. 

You have to truly believe that these people will never leave this place.. The evil live longer..

They deserve to get OLD.

Believe it or not evil people live alot longer in this world.. Something their energy never fails, and they can live for EONS.. By the time they pass they'll be praying for it to happen... 

Who wants to outlive everyone, with a weakened consiousness, along with a failing body.. 

But you know, there are alot of healthy Evil people in this World, and they live for a LOOOOOOOOON G time.. 

The innocent get sick, suffer a bit then they die.. 

I think I've suffered my bad deeds, I had two Abortions.. in one summer.. a month a part.. before I decided, to finally have my last child in 2007.. I'm so happy I had her.. But at the same time.. I feel like I had the child I was supposed to have three years earlier, three years laters, because I was pregnant in July, Which is my Son's Birthday Month, Exactly 9 months later, from the abortion dates, I had Seaira, Born April 19 2007.. Strange.. With all of the times, I resisted the Pregnancy... two times, for what I thought was the inevitable.

I ended up getting pregnant again, and I feel that the child I had was the child attempting to be born.

What is a REAL Friend?

A Real friend wouldn't Accuse you of something you'd never do.. 
Like talking behind your back.. 
Only someone who does that, would do that anyway...
Attempting to Steal a boyfriend that you never owned in the first place.. 

Anything that makes you feel like you could live the rest of your life without talking to them again.. Would be good sign that the bitch would stab you in the back.. For sure.. and you'll be left there to fend for yourself in the end.. Don't even doubt it..

When you meet I Meet a Real Man.. I'm taking Pictures..

Real mean have Common Sense.. 

Common sense ain't hard to represent!!

If you have to ask the Question, explain what common sense is? To anyone in life..

You don't have any,.. 

Common sense is a thought before action Sequence.. Instead of just reacting like a child.. 

Because a child doesn't know what common sense is.. 

Its a shame that my 13 year old Son has more common sense than all these Busted

ass Step Children that no one wanted.. 

Example, This guy I dated, let's call him by his real name.. Hell he ain't nobody, Dre.. 

He would come over and raid my Fridge.. But he never lifted a finger to put something back into it.. 

Sooo Dre had to skip his broke ass back home.. 

I bet he'd bring a 2 Liter Soda, and drink Half of it.. Talkin bout.. I bout Sodah.. Like a big ass kid..

Get the Fuck outta here.. I ain't your Mama.. Your Mama Shoulda Raised you right.. 

It's Just SEX, You already know it..

So you're a Scientific Genius, who invented the one night stand.. As a 
First date.. That doesn't mean that you have to stay to the next day.. 

Nigga We ain't in love.. Why fake it.. Hey babe, I know that it's 3 am.. 
But, I got kids.. Can you find your way out before my kids catch a broke ass nigga with no job
walking through the house? Thank you.. LAWD


If I've never had a normal conversation with this guy now that I remember.. He was dumb as all hell.. I asked him if he read this Blog, and he said yes.. Lying like shit, because his stupid ass doesn't read..Knowing he was lying I asked him..So uh... Clevor, what did you get from my blog?
Duuuh it was Deep, and uhhh it was uh duh..  cool..
Doh!

 (This was like a scene from a hit Series HBO Box OFFICE HIT... Dumb as Fuck Incorporated
There isn't Cuddle time, there is only you going bye bye.

Let me just explain one thing, how can you grow emotions from sex alone?
Naturally, there shouldn't be any emotions.. There can't be emotions, unless one person is feeling them.. Having a naive mind.. You can easily fall in love with the idea of someone.. 
But you really need to look at the whole picture.. 
You won't feel, because you can't.. You know what it is.. But that really sucks the life out of life.. 
and that's why you should really spend more time together.. If you can't stand each other, then what the hell are you still fucking for? The thrill?
But remember, the ride always stops at the end... where both y'all dumb niggas fall out and bump your damn heads.. 

Making Love is.. a constant exchange of emotions, constantly driven from one extreme to the next.. and the end is just as good as the beginning.. 

I'll leave it at that, that mushy shit ain't me no more.. I'm kinda immune to the fantasy Bullshit.. 

That was a stage in my life, when I had a serious Problem with Crushes.. Obsessed big time.. 

I'm way beyond that now, now at 33? Dumb ass! Blurts out my mouth like Tourettes Syndrome.. 

It feels so good to get that out..,

Okay New Year New Education People!

Niggas never know when to go home!!.. I'm getting real use to it now, because when I'm ready for them to go, I'm pushing them out the door! Literally!!

This problem has been going on for months now, and I'm getting better at it all the time.. 
Ding! Times up! Take your black ass home, and hey let me help you find your things, so you won't linger around in my apartment like a scavenger stealing my time. Fuck Outta Here with that!. 

There is nothing worse than knowing that the dude you invited, is acting like he's spending the night.. Because that's when I'm in a rush to kick your black ass out.. I'll get that ery feeling, then, I'm telling everybody to get out.. 

Taken advantage of..

See I don't wanna feel bad, but Morons don't understand the concept of common sense.

Respect time, and respect boundries, niggaz are so concerned about possibly getting some, that they forget the map to get there.. I wonder what Men are thinking about most of the time.. because the goal is not easy to kick a ball through.. If the first thing is this, if a girl liked you, and was feeling you sexually.. You would have been kissed on the first night.. The End. 

If you want to be a hangout buddy, don't overstay your welcome.. Because your Welcome ain't STAYIN Fool.. 

What I need to know before dying.

Why I was put here... What is my purpose? I'm a single Mom from D.C. Focusing on reality.. The real..

There is something I'm supposed know, and with that how am I going to find out what that is..

Because I'm constantly searching for answers that cannot be answered by anyone that I know. So I'm feeling out of place.. What am I supposed to be doing? What is my life story going to look like.

Can you remember the place and time before you were born?

If we can't remember, then why do we believe in all of these stories?

Jesus.. Millions of people believe that this white guy over here is our Savior.. 

Then there are the stories that are told, and retold again.. 

Why isn't everything in plain English? Why is it so hard to understand.. 

What if the Bible didn't exist, what would we believe then?

Who would we pray to? How will we thrive spiritually?

When you get lost.

What happens when you get lost? Lost in a world you really don't have any power over?
What is life to the born lost?

In the game of life there are rules,  and when those rules are broken we are left to wonder.
What happened in the past, have you gone through this before?

It's time consuming to make the same mistakes over and over again, and worse never to have learned a thing from the past. So where do we go from here? Insanity?

We start from where we left off, and plan the rest of our lives out, otherwise you
Succumb to doom.
When the air has been vacuumed out of your life , and the pieces are all lost in translation.
We now have to motivate ourselves back into the once thought invisible human we thought we were
And continuously practice this role over and over again despite the circumstances that life
May bring. We must persevere. Travel the road less traveled and overlook the pain and suffering we may encounter..

This is the only way, there is no other way.. And loss is the battle.. Not the end all be all..
Loss is the sacrifice..